I can't. I need to write my feelings down, and I need to share them - and that's what blogs are for, right?
I've never cried at anything before. I mean, not in the blogosphere. I guess nothing truly traumatic happened during my time with this...situation.
But today...those goodbyes...
I KNOW, Jean, it will be better for THEM to have their normal lives. I KNOW I barely knew them, and they barely knew me. I KNOW I'm not as important as them, or Frap, or Zero, or whoever the dys else. I KNOW I've got an insignificant little blog, in an insignificant little Internet, about my insignificant little life, on this insignificant little blue planet. I KNOW my own goodbyes to them don't mean a rat's water bottle to them or anyone else. I KNOW they'll be...okay. I KNOW all of these things, and yet I can't help but hate it all.
I also can't help but think that they're going to be re-exposed anyway.
Stella's already got three backups of the blog posts archived, just in case...
I think I have a right to be a little selfish here.
I KNOW we shouldn't dwell on the past. I KNOW that when I wake up tomorrow, I'll probably have forgotten all about this - only to remember and collapse in a flood of tears, of course. I KNOW that there are some things in life you just can't change. I KNOW we should let them live this new life.
But I don't want them to.