Chapter Forty-Nine: Sedated Peerage

I could fucking kill them. I could rip their heads off their shoulders. I could break their bones with two fingers. I could paralyze them for life. They have no damn right to be as fucking moronic as they are. I want to see their heads on pikes. I want to see them begging at my feet for mercy. I want to see their guts strung out on the trees. Those damned morons, those fuckers, I can't take it anymore. They tease me for my hair, for my face, for my height, for my weight, for my clothes, and all it would take is for me to let go, to stop holding back, they'd be snapped like a twig. Even my parents, they control me, they insult me, they won't STOP, I could, I could, I could, I could, but I won't, I need them...but the others...I could tug their limbs off and feast on their tiny little brains for breakfast, I always hold back. I can't control my own strength unless I don't use it, I don't like fighting I don't think it's a good solution but it is often the best solution. The teachers who think they know so much more than me, the teachers who think you know me so well, who think you can tell me what to do and how to do it and why I do it and everyone who tells me what I think and what I say and why I do things and what I'm feeling and what I know I could rip your dirty little head off your disgusting little shoulders and feed it to the wolves, I could pluck out your toes and put them in with the pig slop, I could shove a damn lit match up your damn ass. I try to hide it, I act like I'm not mad, I act like I'm not scared, I act like I'm not insulted, I hide the tears I pass them off as allergies and nobody disbelieves me because I wear glasses I try not to break the desk from its legs and deck them with it, I try I try I try but they don't understand and I just want to beat it into them into them into them into them don't don't I don't WANT them to please don't, I want to kill them I want them to die or leave or beat some sense into them or something and there's only one way I can do it without fear of consequence and I broke the vase and smashed the glass and throttled a damn water bottle. I could destroy everything in this house, sometimes, I could just destroy it all and watch it burn, sometimes I just want to set the moon on fire just to watch it burn, I just want to destroy it all. The kids at school they don't get it they threaten death they try to act so tough they don't understand what comes with it they don't understand how naturally difficult it would be to kill another living being to take their life but I couldn't do it either but I want to so bad I just want them out of it I want someone to provoke me enough that it's justified I want to be able to smash them up across the wall and show them how fucking hard it is to be me I could humiliate them I could break them until they stopped bending they don't deserve it they deserve nothing less I want to fucking smash them into next week I don't want them around anymore stop stop DON'T FUCKING TRY AND BREAK ME IT'S GONNA FAIL it's not gonna work you can't break me I know who I am and I have my morals and you're not going to FUCKING take those from me I'm so FUCKING angry right now but I know who I am and what I am and why I am and maybe I know who I can take it out on NO, I don't care about PROXIES or SLENDY or ANY of that shit right now it's the fuckers that deserve my wrath it's them that needs to be taught a lesson they go to SCHOOl tto bet utaught but the tteachersr dont know shit they cant teach themw hat they need to be ewtaught i need to fucking fuckigngngngngngnnangfg..,mh\